


#1 Lesser Dad

by honeysystem



Category: Deltarune (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, susie says the f word (NOT CLICKBAIT), this is just short and wholesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 06:29:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16887375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeysystem/pseuds/honeysystem
Summary: Lancer makes a special mug for his lesser dad





	#1 Lesser Dad

Brows furrowed and tongue sticking out in concentration, Lancer painted the final line onto the mug he was holding.

 

“Aaaaaaaaand done!” He yelled in a satisfied tone, a toothy grin on this face as he presented his masterful handiwork to his friends.

 

The mug was a dark blue that reminded him of the person he chose it for. On the front it read, in white, sloppily applied paint: ‘#1 Lesser Dad’. On the bottom of it was a spade to make it a Lancer-Original gift.

 

“Hell yeah!! Looks fresh, little guy!” Susie shouted out, the same level of excitement overtaking her own voice.

 

“Well done, Lancer! I’m sure he’ll love it,” Ralsei added, a soft smile on his features as he nodded.

 

Kris gave him a thumbs up with both of their hands.

 

Lancer giggled in glee, happy that the rest of the Fun Squad approved of the present. It was for someone important after all, so it had to be perfect!

 

“Perhaps it would be a good idea to sign the mug?” Ralsei suggested.

 

Susie threw an arm around his shoulder at that and looked thoughtful for a second, “You should sign it with ‘Love, the Fuck Squad’.”

 

Ralsei gasped, immediately diving into a lecture about his disapproval of curse words. Lancer couldn’t hear anything though, his ears securely covered by Kris’s hands.

 

Once Ralsei’s rant was over, they removed their hands and gave Lancer a reassuring pat on the shoulder, then gesturing towards the mug and tilting their head in question.

 

“Oh, I’m sure you are wondering who gets the honor to deliver this wonderful gift. Well, it’s going to be none other than you, Kris! And I didn’t choose you because I’m embarrassed obviously!” Lancer said, voice loud and slightly boastful as he pointed at his human pal.

 

Kris gripped their chest, what an honor that was! They wiped a non-existent tear away from their eye and nodded furiously.

 

“No fair! I wanna deliver the mug!” Susie grumbled.

 

“I’m sure you would be a great escort, but what if Mister Kaard wants you to solve a puzzle?” the monster next to her asked.

 

Her eyes widened in realisation, then closed in resignation, “You’re right, Kris is the only one fit for this job.”

 

Kris put their hands on their hips and smiled, priding themself with their pristine puzzle solving ability. They turned on their heels, ready to grab the mug and set out on their journey, when they noticed Lancer scribbling something down on a piece of paper.

 

They moved to look over his shoulder, but Lancer was quick to slide off of the chair and jump to his feet, shoving whatever he wrote into Kris’s face.

 

“For this VERY important mission,” he began, “I, the great Lancer, will lend you my amazing bike. But! You have to sign this contract first.”

 

This ‘contract’ was written in green crayon on the back of a bake sale pamphlet. It also mentioned that Kris was required to tuck the bike back to bed after they were done or else they would be thrown into jail. That seemed pretty reasonable to Kris, so they took the crayon from Lancer’s hand and signed the contract.

 

“Now you gotta eat the crayon, Kris, it’s etiquette here,” Lancer said. Unconvinced, they looked back to their friends for help only to find both of them nodding in agreement.

 

“You gotta do what the little guy says, man.”

 

“Yes, the eating of the crayon is a symbolic gesture, meaning the contract can no longer be altered after signing it.”

 

Kris was having a flashback to the last time they ate a crayon and shivered. But, hey, they didn’t die, so it couldn’t be that bad for the human digestive system. And if anything, someone was sure to bring them to the hospital. 

 

So they munched down the crayon and grabbed the mug, noticing that Lancer added his signature to it. Kris waved the Fun Squad goodbye and sat down on Lancer’s super cool bike that was parked outside their secret hideout.

 

The track to the castle was relatively short, interrupted by one of the patrolling guards telling Kris off for driving without a helmet and lending them a spare one they, for some reason, had in their bag.

 

Kris rode the bike into the castle, coming to a halt in front of Lancer’s room. As promised, they tucked his bike back into bed lovingly and gave it a goodnight kiss. They then took the mug into both of their hands and set out on the final part of their mission. The thought of making Lancer happy filled them with **determination.**

 

Thankfully, Rouxls Kaard’s office wasn’t far away from Lancer’s room; in fact, it was right next to it. Kris hid the mug behind their back and knocked once, twice, thrice, until the door was swung open. The lanky blue creature who opened it struck an extravagant pose.

 

“Welcome to mine, O great Rouxls Kaard, domain lowly worms. Halt- oh. Lightener, ‘tis simply thou. What ‘tis thou seeketh? What dost thou hideth behind yon rear?”

 

Kris simply smiled, revealing the mug they were hiding and presented it while bowing. Rouxls’s face was weary, but he took the offering regardless. He inspected it and promptly noticed the words written on it, then noticed the spade on the back. _Lancer._ Rouxls turned around, wiping away the tears that started to form in his eyes. _The prince is too adorable for his own good!_

 

He turned around to thank Kris for the delivery, only to find himself alone. _That worm must have left already._ Looking around the hallway for safety, Rouxls made sure no one could see him as he hugged the mug fondly.

**Author's Note:**

> i misspelled rouxls name this whole time and only realised it last minute asdgfsh why is his name like that
> 
> my gf and i had a really good twitter convo about this scenario and i felt the need to make it into a fic so here it is! i hope u guys can enjoy it as much as i did writing it :3c
> 
> shoutout to my gf again for writing rouxls dialogue for me because im not a native english speaker and the shakespeare shit is too hard for me!!


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